so, our dear friend Omar was joking about having experience from married people, so, 3ashan khater Omar, and for the sake of my own curiousty, i would like here ever married member to state what are the most important factors in his point of view that help builds a good marragie, also what is the defination of good marraige, and what is the thing that will sure kill a marraige.
singles, share ur dreams and thoughts too ..

Nice topic ya Shimaa

From my point of view

1.The most important factors that help builds a good marragie

- inn il gawazz ma yekoush qayemm 3la masla7ah.

- inn yekoon fee 7oubb aw tafahoumm wee taqaroubb fee el afkarr wee weghatt el nzrr.

- ne7awell net3'lebb 3la il mashakell bel neqash bedoun ma nd7'll 7dd la2een law 7dd d7'll 7'sosann il omahatt wel aba2a beybawazoo aktrr ma beysala7oo.

- inn koll trff yesame77 il trff el tanyy wee yeftekrr inn koll wa7edd beye3'ltt wee ma feesh 7dd kamell wee zayy ma howa ma beye3geboosh 7agatt fee il trff el tanyy bardoo il trff el tanyy ma beye3gboosh 7agatt feeh.

- koll trff yebzell qosara gohdooh 3lshann yeraya77 el trff el tanyy wee yesl77 mnn nafsooh lil 7agah illy il trff el tanyy 3ayezha.

- ma 7adesh mnn el tarafeen ye3ayerr il tanyy be3youbooh 7'asattan iza kannet 7agah 7'argah 3nn iradtooh.

- koll trff yadfa33 il trff il a7'rr lil nga77 wee yesa3dooh 3la ta7'atyy el azamatt (dah ye7'alyy il irtebatt yeqwa gednn).

- koll trff yab7th 3nn el 7agatt illy ye72a2 beeha el sa3adah lil trff el tanyy.

- ma te7ameelsh il taraff il tanyy be7agah s3bah 3leeh wee 7'argah 3nn maqdertooh.


2. The defination of good marraige

inn yekounn fee wedd wee tafahoumm a3'lbb el aw2att (il 7'ena2att wel i7'telafatt fee weghatt el nzrr hate7sll hate7sll)

3. what is the thing that will sure kill a marraige

- il 3endd.

- il shakwah lil omm aw il upp.

-3dmm il mosar7ah.

- il ananeyah.

WALID ..... that's good ..... but it's ideal case :mona: :mona: :mona: ..... we need practical case .....

mody wrote:WALID ..... that's good ..... but it's ideal case :mona: :mona: :mona: ..... we need practical case .....

My point of view is based on 7 years experience.

Read again, i said "il 7'ena2att hate7sll hate7sll" but i was trying to list the factors that help to minimize il 7'ena2att and build a strong relationship according to my 7 years experience :sunny: .

Izzy wrote:God bless you and your little family bro.

Thank you my brother.

Thanks walid for your contribution, and thanks for taking me serious.
Your experience I guess is of much value for us Singles, and for other married couples, I have been looking around me into others relations to find out what is the problem that's making everyone unhappy
I always believed that once someone is married so he has made a choice to create a safe place. I mean here that whenever I have a problem I will look to my marriage to find the peace I need to keep on struggling in life. But sometimes it is not the case.
Thanks walid for your valuable contribution again.
May God bless you and your family.

:oops: :oops: :oops:

Thnx Shimma
dayman bee te7regeney bee zo2ek

Nice Topic

:mona:

walid

Bayen 3aleek mabsoot fee 7ayatak


kol kalamak mantekey gedan we gameel we ra2e3 we aghlab al nas 3arfenoo

laken al moshkila ana 3an nafsey shoft setat keteer metgawezeen khososan aly metgawezeen gedeed ( aly men geley 3ala al 2a2al ) aghlab'hom shakayeen
we momken yetkalemoo 3ala gozhom kalam mesh tamam 2odam ahlohom ( al ab we al Om ) men gheer ma yekoon mawgood moshkila asasan
mesh 3aref eh al sabab fee dah


men kalamak wade7 en ma3ak zoga sal7a al 7amd lellah

fa ana shayef en al asas fee al zawag al mesaley Hoa al zoga al sal7a fee al asas

Ahlawy wrote:
fa ana shayef en al asas fee al zawag al mesaley Hoa al zoga al sal7a fee al asas

wallahy mazboutt ya Omar ....Allah yenawarr 3leek.....il a7'la2 el 3alyah wel deen illy homa asassan nateegah lil tarbeeyah il kwayesah asass lee naga77 el gawazz....bss mesh il zougah bss lazemm kamann il zougg yekounn a7'la2ooh 3alyah wee metrabyy.....wee law il deen mawgood wee bel tally il a7'la2 wel adbb ta2akadd inn koll il factors illy ana oultaha hatob2a sahlah tetnafezz.

i am gonna try to stay away from IDEAL and maybe focus on practical

- compromise is probably one of the most important elements in a marriage. u cant have it your way. specially bcz you are the man in the house. well, a man does not mean that what you say goes without discussion. I try to discuss a lot with my wife. I mean men , in general, will have stronger convictions than women but it isnt to say women arent smarter or can come up with the greatest ideas and/or suggestions. you need to leave the door open as to what she also likes. it isnt about you as a man or a woman. it takes two to make a marriage work.

- LOVE: well and be surprised most of you. i dont think Love is the most important thing speically before marriage. i know it romantic. I know its what we love for. we wanna love abd be loved we want that feelings that everlasting happiness is right arouynd the corner. well guess what, love doesnt cut it when you have other resposibilities . ( work, money, house chores, future planning, kids if you have any and most will do, bills, etc...) one or more problems of that list ( if not given the proper attention by both and and a good solution) will get bigger and cuse other problems to surface. it will end up badly for the two sooner or later. so, i am not counting love out i am just sayint it goes pretty well with just about everything else i listed. and please dont tell me well if you really love theperson then you will forget and let things go and blah blah bla.. you need love to live but in order for IT to live then you want to make sure all these other thnigs are in tact. it takes time and they dont get in tact easily but when you show commitment and work it then you know you are doing it right as you should.

MEN are NOT supperior over women . they may have a stronger conviction because they are more out there dealing with things first hand. this doesnt take away anything from women and their well beings. respect your women ( or visa versa ) bcz they are human after all. before you met them they are "awlad nas " . treat your partnet how you'd like to be treated . fear Allahg in youe treatment of them bcz whether you are a man or a woman you will answer to every small aspect of your marriage before Allah.

- having said that, Men ARE THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE HOLD. they have more and bigger responsiblity than women in a house. you can not expect your wife to do the thing a man, by nature, is supposed to do . u can not expect your women to not feel bitter if her life isnt what yiou promised her. she will tolerate short ends and not being rich. she will not tolerate lies and not coming true to one's word .( same goes for women ). a man shoud act as the head and master of the house hold. a woman can not be the ruler of the house. it translate to collapse. discussing things with your wife, being good to her, and trying to provide a good life to her doesnt mean she can rule or what she says goes. a man should always be in the picture. like, i do this bcz i have to from a responsibe married man's persepective but it doesnt give a lay away for a woman to say ok i got him now i can tell him what to do.. disaster disaster disaster.

ok well i am not done but my fingers are getting tired so maybe i will do a follow up later

1) Love which have different definitions. I mean here the one that happens over time and based on emotional, intellectual and dogmatic compatibility.

2) Absolute equality of rights and realisation of the biological differences, that lead a certain partner to be better at different tasks.

3) Being a good friend and an entertaining journey partner.

4) Being able to have a laugh a long the way.

5) Being able to compromise when different in opinion.

I have been married now for 2 years, and another 2 years previous to that as boyfriend-girlfriend relationship! and we are both happy!

This may not work for others...find what works for you!

deeh 7agah tabee3yah ya Omar ....i7na bshrr ....ahmm asbabb il 7'ena2att mnn weghett nazaryy heya nafss il asbabb illy bet7'leeky tet7'ane2 m3a ayy 7dd (is7abakk mathalan)...ya3nyy il sheytann wee il tamasoukk bel ra2yy 7ata law kann 7'ate2 (3endd ya3nyy).....etc.

WOw....I don't see most of the above can work in the west or even in some of the modren days east! It's kinda, it's never the man's fault!

I can assure you of something like this get published in the western world, the editor will be introgated by lots and lots of women!

As far as problems are to come and fights are to happen and there is no way to avoid them. I personally believe that marriage is just another relation. So fight can be healthy as far as we don’t hit below a certain line.
But what causes these fights. Money, external pressure, lack of responsibility, emotional deprivation or other reasons??
Another question can a marriage be based on no similarities? Can a couple who has nothing in common build a stable marriage?